NEED TO SLOW DOWN THINGS..

This past days, it seems that a lot of things on working and loaded in my head. Because of it, my migraine struck again and make me incapable of thinking and doing things, that’s why last night I was lying on the bed for a longer period of time just to make the headache gone. This morning, I decided not to wake up early but instead I let my body and mind have a rest even though I have to skip my breakfast. I’ve tried to evaluate things and I find out one thing: “I’m trying to do things and to think all at the time”. This is the reason why this past days I feel so bad that a headache is always trying to rob my days. With the stuff about my work, my ministry, making plans for the upcoming events, thinking of my topic/messages for the next week on PGC and a lot of things makes me unproductive as I try to figure them out all at a time. The Lord had teach me another lesson, this time He’s trying to tell me to “slow down and think, do and make things one a time only”. I cannot do things at once, that’s the limitation of my mind and body. And another thing that I learned, I doesn’t need to do things alone, GOD is there to help and to surpass any limitation that I have. I thank GOD for another lesson that I need to learn and apply in my life. With all of this, there might be a lot of demanding things that may be waiting to be done but what I must do is not to rush on but to slow down and see what the Lord had want me to do first. To God be the glory.

Chapter 2: FEAR OF BEING ALONE (LONELINESS)

CHAPTER 2

FEAR OF BEING ALONE (LONELINESS)

        “Bawat tao sa mundo ay mayroong kinakatakutan”. Ang takot ay isang pagkaraniwan na emosyon na ang bawat  tao ay nakakranas at isa sa pinakapangkaraniwan na pinagdaraanan ng lahat ay “Fear of Being alone” o “Loneliness”. Marami sa mga tao ang takot na mag-isa, mapabata, kabataan o maging matatanda ay mayroong takot na ganito. Natatandaan ko pa ng ako ay nasa kolehiyo, ang bawat isa sa mga kaibigan at maging kaeskwela ko ay takot na maging mag-isa sa buhay kaya marami sa kanila ay sumubok na makipagrelasyon para matugunan ang nasabing takot. Ang nakaklungkot, ng dahil sa solusyon na akala nila ay makaksatugon sa kanilang takot ay ginawa nila ay ito rin ang nagdulot ng matinding sakit, paghihinayang at mas malaking takot . Ang “Fear of being Alone or Loneliness ay isang pangkaraniwang sakit at problema lalong lalo na sa mga “singles” o “single again”. Marami ang nalalaglag sa kumunoy na kung tawagin ay “pag-ibig” na ng dahil sa maling pagtugon sa takot na mag-isa ay nasa estado ngayon na sila ay “Love-Stuck”. Isang napakahalagang bagay na matugunan ng maayos ang problema tungkol sa takot na mag-isa lalong-lalo na sa mga Kristiyano. Marami sa mga “Christian Singles” ang nalalayo, lumalayo at nalayo ng dahil sa takot na ito na buhay nila ay madalas nilang nararamdaman ngunit dahil hindi ito natugunan na maayos at ng ayon sa katotohanan sa Sailta ng Panginoon ay nagdulot ng matinding sakit sa kanila. Maraming mga “Christian Singles” na di matatawaran ang “passion” as paglilingkod sa Panginoon ngunit sa isang saglit ay bigla na lamang inagaw na “maling pag-ibig” dahil sa mas pinili nila na tugunan ang kanilang “takot na mag-isa” sa pamamagitan na pakikipagrelasyon o pag-aasawa as mga taong hindi naman inilaan at ayon sa Kalooban ng Diyos. Mga kristianong mas pinili ang pag-ibig upang tugunan ang sariling pangangailangan kaysa sa pag-ibig ng Panginoon na higit na makagbibigay ng kasapatan sa buhay natin kung magagawa lamang nating maghintay sa Kanyang kalooban. Ano nga ba talaga ang ibig sabihin ng “Fear of Being Alone or Loneliness” o ang takot na maging mag-isa?

Ano nga ba ang “LONELINESS”?

Loneliness is a painful sense of being unwanted, unneeded, uncared for, maybe even unnecessary.

Ang sabi sa pag-aaral, ang tao daw ay may tatlong “basic emotional needs”, ito ay:

1.    A need for someone to love and someone to love us.

2.    A need for someone who understands us, who knows how we feel.

3.    A desire for somebody who wants us and needs us.

Ang lahat ng tao may pangangailan sa mga bagay na ito, yan ang katotohanan. Kung ang pangangailangan na ito ay hindi mabibigyan na tamang kasagutan na nakaugat sa katotohanan ng Salita ng Panginoon, ito ang magiging dahilan upang ang isang “Christian Single” O “Single Again” ay malayo o tuluyang lumayo sa Panginoon.

Loneliness: “Toothache of the Soul”

May isang unknown writer ang nagsabi, “Loneliness is one of life's most miserable experiences”. Pangkaraniwan man ang karanasan na maging mag-isa, ang bawat panahon na ito ay nangyayari sa atin ay nagpapahag ng isang mensahe.

Madalas kapag nakakaranas tayo ng pag-iisa ay tumatagal lamang ito ng minute o ng oras, o kahit isang araw. Ngunit kung ito ay tumagal na ng lingo, buwan o taon ay nag-sisignal ito na mayroon nang problema.

“Parang sakit lamang ng ngipin ang Loneliness”, Ito ay isang “warning signal” na mayroong problema. Tulad ng isang simpleng sakit ng ngipin, kung hindi ito agad aagapan ay maaaring lumalala ito.

“Loneliness is a Crippling Force”

“Loneliness cripples” o ito na nakakapagpabagsak sa ating personalidad at ng ating buhay.

1.    Loneliness cripples us emotionally. Ayon sa pag-aaral, ang pinakamalimit na dahilan kung bakit nagpapakamatay ang isang tao ay dahil sa “Loneliness”. Kapag ang isang tao ay iniisip na mag-isa na siya habang buhay, naiisip nila na wakasan na lamang ang kanilang buhay. Kaya napakahalagang parte ng buhay na maaring bumagsak ay ang ating emosyon kapag tayo ay nakakaranas ng “loneliness”.

2.    Loneliness will hurt us physically. Ayon sa pag-aaral, karamihan ng mga taong inaatake ng sakit sa puso ay mga taong malulungkutin, “depressed” at laging nag-iisa (lonely). Ang pagiging mag-isa ay nagdudulot din o nakakaapekto sa physical na aspeto n gating buhay. May mga taong malakas kumain lalo na kung may mga kasama nguniy kapag sila ay nag-iisa ay nagiging pihikan at kaunti kumain na nagdudulot upang humina ang kanilang pangangatawan.

3.    Loneliness cripples us spiritually. Ang sabi ng isa sa aming elders sa church, ang isang bisita daw umattend sa church service, kapag walang kumausap, panigurado ay hindi na babalik sa susunod na lingo. At ito ay napatunayan na sa maraming taon sa inglesia. Ang isang kristiyano single man o hindi,m kapag naramdaman niya na siya ay nag-iisa bagamat marami siyang nakaksalamuha sa inglesia ay unti-unting manghihinana at ang pinakamasamang pwedeng mangyari ay ang tumigil siya sa pag-aatend o lumayo hindi lamang sa inglesia kundi sa Panginoon na mismo. Kapag ang isang kristiyano ay hindi na makatagpo ng “encouragement” at “belongingness”, dito nagsisimula na maramdaman niya na siya ay nag-iisa at mawala ang kanyang “fellowship” sa kapwa kristiyano at tuluyang manghina ang espiritwal na buhay o ang relasyon nito sa Panginoon.

Maling pakahulugan about “Loneliness”

Maraming pakahulugana ng tao patungkol sa “takot na mag-isa”, pero ang katotohanana ay marami tayong maling pakahulugan patungkol dito. Tatlo sa mga “misconception” na ito ay ang mga sumusunod:

1.    Loneliness is not solitude.

Minsan ay may mga pagkakataong gusto natin ng katahimikan. At sa mga panahong ito, hindi naman ito “signs” na Lonely ka. Maging ang Panginoong Hesus ay may panahon  ng “solitude” o “panahon ng pag-iisa” upang magkaroon ng panahon na makiniig at makinig sa Diyos Ama. Ganoon din sa atin, minsan kailangan nating magkaroon ng panahon ng “pag-iisa”, katahimikan at kapayapaan hindi dahil sa tayo ay nag-iisa kundi nais lamang natin na magkaroon na panahon para sa Panginoon.

2.    Loneliness is not lonesomeness.

Ang katotohanan, “you might be alone, but never be lonely”. Kailanman ay hindi ka magiging “lonely” dahil sa nandyan ang ating mga kapamilya, kapatid, kapuso at mag kaibigan. May panahon lamang talaga na mag-isa ka dahil sa kabisihan ng buhay ngunit kalian man ay hindi ka magiging “lonely”. Ang sabi sa Mateo 1:23, ang pangalan ng Panginoon Hesus ay “Emmanuel” na ang ibig sabihin ay kasama natin ang Diyos. Kailanman ay hindi tayo mag-iisa dahil ng ginawa ng Panginoon Hesus na ibigay ang kanyang buhay sa krus ng kalbaryo at nuling nabuhay ay nagbigay daan ito upang maging poisble na makasama natin ang Diyos sa ating buhay.

3.    Loneliness is not isolation.

May mga panahon na kailangang alisin mo ang sarili mo sa piling ng napakaraming tao na nakapaligid sa atin ngunit hindi ito nangangahulugan na ito ay pag-iisa o “loneliness”. Dahil sa ingay ng mundong ating ginagalawan minsan kahit gusto mo ng katahimikan ay hindi mo ito mahahanap unless na lang kung magkakaroon ka ng panahon para “mapag-isa” at i-“relax” ang isipang napapagod sa bawat araw. Sa maraming pagkakataon, mas gugustuhin din nating ilayo ang ating sarili sa grupo ng tao lalo na kung alam nating mali ang ginagawa at pinaggagagawa nila. Sabihan man nila tayo na “patay na bata” o “walang pakikisama” ay mas ok na ang mag-isa basta’t alam natin na ang ating ginagawa ay para sa kaluwalhatian ng Panginoon.

Bakit ba mayroong “Loneliness”?

Ayon sa pag-aaral, ang ilan sa mga sumusunod ay ang dahilan kung bakit tayo nagiging lonely:

1.    Past Rejections – Maaring maraming beses ka nang nakakaranas na di pagtanggap ng iba o di tamang pakikitungo sa iyo ng iba na dahil dito ay mas gugustuhin mo na lamang na mag-isa upang maiwasan at wag nang maranasan pang muli ang “rejection”.

2.    Insecurity – Kapag ang tingin mo sa iyong sarili ay sadyang napakababa kaysa sa iba, nagdudulot ito upang tayo ay matakot na ilapit an gating sarili sa iba. Nagdudulot ito upang ilayo ang ating sarili dahil tingin natin ay higit na nakatataas ang ilan at hindi tayo nababagay san a makasama nila.

3.    Grief – Kapag feeling mo ikaw lang ang nasasaktan at walang makakaintindi sa iyo, ito ang magbubunsod sa isang tao upang ilayo ang kanyang sarili at mamuhay  sa kalungkutan na nag-iisa.

4.    Self-centeredness – Kapag lahat ng bagay gusto mong sarilinin, mapa-kayamanan o anumang material na bagay na may halaga at maging ang problema na iyong dinadala ay nagiging dahilan ito upang maranasan mo ang pagiging “lonely” sa buhay.

5.    Sinful Lifestyle – Kung ang isang tao ay namumuhay sa kasalanan, ito mismo ang pinakadelikadong estado na nagdudulot upang maranasan mo ang “loneliness”. “Sin creates walls”, walls that will drive us away from others and the saddest truth is that our sin drives us away from the presence of the Lord. Kung titignan mo ang istorya ni cain, ang sabi sa Genesis 4:12, “Ikaw ay magiging palaboy at pagala-gala sa lupa”. Ng dahil sa kasalanan ni Cain, imbis na maranasan niya na lagging makasama ang Diyos ay hindi ito nangyari bagkus ay naging isa siyang palabaoy at pagalagala na ang buhay ay tila laging nag-iisa.

Mga MALING GAMOT para “Fear of Loneliness”

1.    “Busy ako” attitude – Akala ng iba kahat magiging busy sila sa iba’t-ibang gawain ay hindi na nila maiisip o mararamdaman na nag-iisa o “lonely” ang isang tao. Kung ito ay gagawing gamut para sa “loneliness”, para lamang uminom ng gamot para sa sakit ng ngipin na ang tunay na  remedy ay ang bunutin ang masakit na ipin. “Busyness is only a distraction, not a cure”.

2.    “Shopping Galore” drama – kung i-try mo kayang i-“treat” at bigyan ng “reward ang iyong sarili, makakagamot kaya ito? Ang sagot, siyempre hindi. Maaring mapasaya ka ng mga bagay na maari mong bilhin para sa ating sarili at mawala ang ating “feeling of loneliness” temporarily o pansamantala. Para ka lamang bumili ng pampamanhid para mawala ang sakit ngunit makaraan ang ilang oras ay babalik din ang sakit na mas grabe pa sa una.

3.    “In a Relationship” Status – Maaring ang maging solusyon ng iba ay ang magkaroon ng “intimate relationship” upang matugunan ang kanilang “lonely problem”. Maaring piliin ng iba na makipagrelasyon at i-try ang “sex” upang matugunan ang kanilang “loneliness” ngunit ito ay isang “false cure” o maling kasagutan na kung gagawin at ipagpapatuloy ay magdala lamang ng mas marami at malaking problema.

Kung ang mga ito ay hindi ang tamang solusyon, ano ba ang tamang solusyon sa “takot ng pag-iisa” o “fear of being alone o loneliness”? Para masagoot natin ang katanungan na ito, dapat maintindihan muna natin kung ano ba talaga ang kahulugan ng “Loneliness”.

“Loneliness is God's way of telling you that you have a relationship problem.”

Ito ang katotohan, kung bakit may loneliness ay dahil mayroong problema. Lahat tayo ay mayroong relationship problem na dapat gamutin. Lahat tayo ay may relationship problem sa Diyos. Ang sabi sa Roma 1:18:

“Sapagkat ang poot ng Diyos ay nahahayag mula sa langit laban sa lahat ng kalikuan at kasamaan ng mga tao, na sa pamamagitan ng kanilang kasamaan ay pinipigil ang katotohanan.”

Dahil sa ating mga kalikuan at kasalanan, nasira ang pinakamahalagang relasyon na dapat ay maranasan ng tao, iyon ay ang relasyon natin sa Diyos. Ng dahil sa kasalanan, habang buhay tayong nalayo sa Diyos at lahat tayo patutungo sa kamatayan[1].  Kung Maaayos ang relasyon sa Diyos, ito ang pasimula upang magamot at masolusyunan ang “takot sa pag-iisa o loneliness na mayroon sa ating buhay.

What is the Solution for “Fear of Loneliness”?

          It is not about what but it is about who is the Solution? The solution is none other than the Lord Jesus Christ. Kung mayroong kasagutan sa problemang ito, iyon ay walang iba kundi ang Panginoong Hesus. Kung mayroon mang higit na nakakaintindi ng salitang “loneliness”, iyon ay walang iba kundi ang Panginoong Hesus. Magmula ng siya ay hulihin upang pahirapan at ipako sa krus ay naranasan na niya na iwan ng mga alagad na lagi niyang nakakasama[2]. Naranasan niya ang ipagkaila ng kanyang kaibigan ng tatlong beses[3] at sa pagbubuhat  ng krus ay wala rin siyang kasama at hanggang sa krus ay narasanan niya ang maging mag-isa na maging ang Diyos Ama ay pinabayaan siya[4]. Alam ng Panginoon at naranasan niya ang lahat ng pag-iisa ngunit kailanman ay hindi siya natakot dahil kinailangan niya itong gawin upang tayo ay mapalaya sa takot ng pag-iisa.

Paano ko mararanasan ang Kalayaan na na kay Kristo?

Kung tatanggapin mo at pananampalatayaan mo na si Jesu-Kristo ay namatay para sa iyong mga kasalanan, aaminin mo na hindi mo kayang iligtas ang iyong sarili at tanging si Krsito lamang ang makapagliligtas sa iyo at tunay mong pagsisisihan ang iyong mga kasalanan ay mararanasan mo ang Kalayaan na ito na na kay Kristo. Hindi ka na dapat matakot pa dahil kailanman ay hindi ka mag-iisa dahil ang pangako ng Panginoon ay lagi Niya tayong makakasama hanggang sa katapusan ng mundo[5]. Ang pangako niya ay kailanman ay hindi tayo iiwan, ni pababayaan man[6].

Three Truths to Remember

1.    GOD loves us even though we never love HIM[7]. The greatest love that will give satisfaction in our Life is God’s Love. If our love is founded and rooted in His love, we will be able to love and find love from others in God’s own way. For this reason, we will never be alone.

2.    GOD understand everything about us and HE is always ready to listen whenever we need HIM.

3.    GOD wants us to be saved[8], so He sent HIS son to die at the Cross so that you might be able to be with HIM in Heaven.

---

[1] Romans 6:23

[2] Matthew 26:56

[3] Matthew 26:69-75;Mark 14:66-72;Luke 22:56-62; John 18:15-18,25-27

[4][4] Matthew 27:46; Mark 15:34

[5] Matthew 28:20

[6] Hebrews 13:5

[7] 1 John 4:10

[8] Ezekiel 18:31-32

The Chinese Action Boy

Kok Jun

The Chinese Boy who keeps on running out from me every time I try to talk to him. The other day when I try to play with him by pretending that i have a gun and shooting him, its a different scenario, kok jun is the one running after me and chasing me trying to hit me by his invisible gun.. hehehe.. A very cute little guy, he didn't understand English so every time i try to talk to him he will just walk away from me.. hehehe.. better to play with him without talking and just making some action.

The Naughty Boy & Shy Girl

Weng Jun & Kasturi

Weng Jun is the Chinese Boy, Naughty and Clever Kid who always want to play bosing with me. There are times that he keeps on riding in my back and play wrestling.. He’s also one of the brightest and smart kids among others of his age. Good thing we got a picture of him. hehehe…

Kasturi is the thin indian girl who is a shy kid. At the first day of the VBS, she looks like afraid of us and everytime I try to talk to her, it looks like she is going to cry…

The Chinese-Thai Girls

THE CHINESE-THAI GIRLS

They are Lee Mun, Lee Teng & Lai Kwan

Among the Kids that I met in Bidor Gospel Centre in Malaysia, Somehow somewhat these kids had become near in my heart. It’s only 4 days that we are able to see them but they had become my favorites and i like these three kids. Someday, i wish i will have a daughter as cute and beautiful just like them. Well, I miss them.

"Reboot, Reboot, Reboot... Back-up and then Reformat"

Yesterday while working on with the second chapter of my e-book an unusual problem hit my tablet PC. It keeps on shutting down again and again, and then going to the process of disk check and then starting up again and as I click and log on my account, it shutting down by itself. Majority of my free time had been spent in trying to figure out how to make the tablet PC work properly but it wasn’t. As I try to figure out what to do, I remember those time that my co-worker in my previous company who is an “IT” said to me that when a computer is not working properly, the best thing to do is to reboot. So with that idea, I started to reboot the computer but sadly after seventh up to ninth time of rebooting it still I wasn’t successful. There are some setting in the boot menu that I don’t even know how to deal with it. With my desperation, I made a trial and error in figuring the right setting for the boot menu and at exactly 7:30 pm in the evening, finally i made it. The Tablet PC works quite properly, it doesn’t shut-down by itself but the problem is: “The way it process any commands take a thousand years before it execute”. So again, my excitement in writing turns to be focused not in the chapter 2 of my e-book but becomes concentrated in making my tablet PC works properly. The last solution that I have in mind is to reformat the tablet PC, so i decided to do it. When I click the recovery button (a back-up of the CD that had been used to install the operating system of the computer), it didn’t directly go to the process of formatting the computer but a message pop-up telling me that its better to back-up my important files (documents, power point presentations and installer) because the process will delete everything as I continued with it. So I back-up my important files and then started to make the process of formatting the computer. Its a good thing that I always ask our “IT” in my previous company who is a close friend to me about information and facts about the computer making me capable and knowledgeable with computers so I made it. After almost two and half (2 1/2) hours of waiting, clicking so many settings for the formatting of the computer: “SUCCESS”, the tablet PC is reformat. Still, few things have to installed but I’m quite disappointed, because I forgot that I don’t have a Microsoft Office installer (MS Word, Excel, PowerPoint and etc). But still, its a good thing I have an Open Office installer so i install it as an alternative while I’m looking for the MS Office installer. The Tablet PC is working faster (actually a little bit faster) but still I am not satisfied with it because I miss some of the applications that I had installed and even some of the functions becomes different. So much for that, still I am thankful that my tablet PC is working again. 

I am just reminded and realized that in out life when things are not working the way we planned it and great disappointment comes in our way, we keep on “REBOOTING” things as we try to make a solution all by ourselves. When things don’t work, we keep on doing the same thing again and again that results to a repeated disappointment and failures. When we are tired and becomes desperate, we are deciding to “REFORMAT” our lives on our own so we are still failed. Unless we used the original CD (or files) that had been used to create the system, we cannot start all over again. Only the creator of this world, none other than GOD can make our life a “brand new”, He is the original CD installer that can “REFORMAT” our lives and make it “NEW”. We may have a lot of short-comings in our lives, failures and disappointment but GOD can “UNDONE” what we had done and best of all make as a “NEW CREATION”. The Word of GOD says in 2 Corinthians 5:17: “Therefore, if anyone is in CHRIST, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come”. The POWER of GOD is shown by pouring HIS Love when the Lord Jesus gave HIS life at the cross, so that anyone who will come to him with a repented heart and accept HIM as LORD and SAVIOR will not just have a “NEW LIFE” but an “ETERNAL LIFE” together with GOD in Heaven (John 3:16). One more thing, If we have to make a “BACK-UP” of things that is important to us, make sure to have a “BACK-UP” of God’s “FAITHFULNESS” and “GOODNESS” in our Lives for the Truth is “in all things God works for good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose (God’s Will). 

A blessed morning to everyone. God Bless you.

- marc ross

"HOME IS WHERE GOD (YHWH) IS"

Before anything else I would like to Thanks the Lord who had given me rest (physically, mentally and most specially an spiritual rest) while I am here in Caliraya Resorts, Inc. in Lumban, Laguna. During the previous months that i had been assigned here, things seems to boring. The fact that this place is practically "a place to enjoy", I was stuck with the idea that I am alone, I don't have anyone with me (although I know God is always with me) and I am far from home. Knowing the fact that I had been staying in a hotel with a comfortable bed, an air-conditioned  room and a cable television but all that is in my mind is that I am here because of work. Even-though I can enjoy the facilities here, there is a pressure that I have to go, see and find things that I could write in my "audit report" that I must passed to my boss as I go back in the head office in ortigas center. As months and days had passed by, The Lord had teach me a lot of things as my monthly duty here in laguna continues. The Lord had teach me and let me realized that the reason why I am here in laguna is not just to do my duties as an employee but also to do the things God has want me to do. I started seeing the big picture that my stay here is for a purpose. God want me to enjoy and reflect on His goodness and faithfulness just by seeing the beautiful nature that you can only see's in this palce. My stay here is also God's way of giving me rest from the exhaustion and tiredness that I have in my work. This is also the time for me to have a more and quality time in studying and reflecting God's Word. A time to prepare all of His messages for me and for the brethren, a time to spent more time in prayer and devotion to Him. I might be far from home but The Lord had just teach me one thing as I stay here, "I am never far from home because being with HIM is the greatest and most amazing way of experiencing heaven". Whenever and Wherever I am, God is always with me and being with HIM will let me experience HIS wonderful and amazing works in my life. There is one truth that I will always holding on, "Home is where God is". This place and this world is just a temporary place where everyone of us is living and discovering how amazing God is and to practice what God had planned for us.  To live in accordance to His will and pleasure.

At first, I have no idea of whatsoever things that i want to write this evening. As my fingers and brain started to communicate with each others, nothings comes out of it. But as my heart joined instructing my brains to write and commanding my fingers to press on the letters on the keyboard of the computer, all of this words came and this blog entry had been made. This blog entry has nothing to do with anyone else, this is a blog personally made to express my gratefulness and thankfulness to our Lord and Savior, YESHUA (JESUS). To YHWH (The LORD) be all the glory, praise and worship. God bless.