Someday, I will have a beautiful daughter and princess like her

This is trixie (pong-gay) as they call her. I just met this cute, charming and beautiful girl on the night of her auntie's wedding (shine and albert's wedding). Someday, I will also have a beautiful, cute and charming daughter and princess just like her.

“MY ATE MARY JANE”

“Ate”, is a word that I usually heard from everyone but a word that always come to my mind every time this day, November 1 had come. I don’t usually talk about it especially when people are asking whom I preferring with every time I’m telling them that I used to go the cemetery to see my “ate”. And every time this topic about my ate is brought-out, there is a sadness that comes out within me and it makes me cry in an instant without knowing the reason why I have this feeling. My “ate”, born on January on the year 1984 is the only daughter that my parents have. When she came on this earth, it brings a lot of joy to my parents and even to my eldest brother (kuya mike). After a year, she celebrated her birthday and everybody is happy as the young girl already marks her first year on earth. But after that day, unexpected things happens and she had been diagnosed with measles (tigdas), during that time it is epidemic and brought a lot of pain to families whose family members had died because of it and one of those who died, is none other than my “ate”. It brings a lot of depression and sadness to my parents, the moment my ate succumbed to a epidemic decease such as measles (tigdas). It was on March 1985 that “Mary Jane R. Roda” died and leave this earth and goes back to the creator, my “ate” died at a very young age. After a year, in December 16, 1986 a new born baby with a name of “Dennis” existed on earth. I was born a year after my “ate” died, but since childhood I was told that I have an “ate” and we always come to cemetery on November 1 just to visit her. I don’t know why talking about my “ate” always brings me to the point that I am crying and It brings this sudden sadness. I don’t even have to see her but talking about her is the conversation that I always want to avoid because I know that it will only make me cry. Thinking about things that happen, I realized that the reason why I always become sad and cry every time topics about my “ate” is brought out might be because from the moment I was in the womb of my mother, I felt the sadness that my mother has due to the passing away of my “ate”. Sounds weird but it might be one of the reason why I also feel sad when conversation about her is being made. But as years pass by, I thought this feeling of sadness will gone regarding about my “ate”, but the sad story is it’s not. Instead of disappearance, this sad feeling becomes stronger and stronger that talking about my “ate” brings me to tears. I don’t know why, but something is within me that I always feel this way. As I reflected on this, I realized something about me. I am a person who always long to have an “ate”. I never experience to have an “ate”, within the family all of my siblings are boys and I never had a chance to live a life of having an “ate” or “older sister”. How I wish that I could have an “ate” that I could tell things about myself, things about how I feel and things about my personal life. I don’t know if it right to say that I miss my “ate mary jane” even if I don’t even see her throughout my life, but it might be better to say that “I really want that I have an “ate” and how I wish that she had not died”. Even if I don’t ever have a chance to see my “ate”, I know that I have an “ate” and in the future I will be seeing her again. I thank God that even if I don’t ever met her, God gave me an “ate” and given more ate right now. They might not be my biological “ate’s” but for sure they are the one God had given so that I might have the preview of things that would be if my “ate mary jane” ever live. “In everything, God has a purpose and that is what I’m holding on and I’m entrusting everything to YAHWEH.” Thank You YAHWEH.to You, all the glory, honor and praise.

Someday... The Wedding Prayer

Someday, when the day comes I want this song to be included in my wedding day. To whom, whoever she is.. More than being married someday, what I want is that I and together with her, we will give glory to HIM. To be more in love with You oh LORD that I may Love “her” more. “u” :)

Someday... The Wedding Prayer

Someday, when the day comes I want this song to be included in my wedding day. To whom, whoever she is.. More than being married someday, what I want is that I and together with her, we will give glory to HIM. To be more in love with You oh LORD that I may Love “her” more. “u” :)

I want to go HOME to the place where the LORD is

Five more days and I am going back to my home at Rizal. The excitement is relived every time that I was here in laguna and the boredom already attacked me. “I want to go home already”, it’s the same statement that is in my head after some days of stay here in laguna. I feel like I missed a lot of things, people, events and opportunities every time that I was here in laguna to render my services and act on my responsibility as an employee of the company. Although the advantage of being here is I have a lot of time to have a rest since I don’t have to travel a far and for an hour just to go home since my “hotel” where I stay is just around the corner of the resort but the thing is, “I am alone” (physically) and I have to fight the boredom. There’s a lot of things to be thankful, actually I was thankful that the LORD had given me this opportunity to have a rest whenever I was assigned here in laguna but when Saturday and Sunday comes, i felt sad every time I realized that it supposedly the time that I must spent in serving HIM and just because of my work I had missed a lot of time and privileges. It sounds like I was complaining but definitely not, I know the reality and truth that if ever I was here in laguna, it was never been meant to make me “alone” and to feel “lonely” but there is a purpose that the LORD had for me. One thing that I always pray is that The LORD always reveal to me the purpose of my stay here in laguna. Yes, it might be because of my duty as an employee that I was here but looking unto it in a deeper perspective only shows that HE has a purpose. So what is that purpose? After four days of thinking, late night sleep (actually very late that I was sleeping in about 3am up to 4am in the morning) and hours of staring at the ceiling of my room, the LORD make me realized one truth, “Whenever, Wherever and Whatever I am doing, It is an opportunity for me to serve HIM”. It’s all depend of what is inside my heart and who is inside in it?

The reality, the privilege to serve the LORD had never been lost, its only us who thinks we lost it. We lost the so-called “privilege to serve the LORD” whenever we think that what we are doing whether it is a work or study is a not a way of serving HIM. We only lost the opportunity to serve the LORD whenever our work takes out our desire, passion and love for the LORD. The only thing that we lost as much as I experience together with other working Christian Professionals whenever we work is the fellowship with the brethren. That fellowship that we missed is something that might be good specially when it bring us to have a heart who is longing to have a fellowship and a deep understanding that we need the presence of our brethren to keep the burning desire of continuing in walking on God’s path (Holiness and Righteousness). But, most important thing is our relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, If we have a good, better and continuously growing relationship with our LORD and SAVIOR, we will never feel that we our alone. We might be alone “physically” as per humans perspective but in reality, as “Christian” and “servant of Christ”, He will always be with us and never leave us so that we will never be alone.

This is some of the things that the LORD had taught me as I spent time in meditating HIS Word and evaluating things. I was excited to go home, excited to be in the place where the LORD is, excited to experience the fellowship with the brethren and together we will be serving HIM. To YAHWEH be all the glory, honor, praise and worship.